Be a Lady They Said
Produced by Claire Rothstein (Girls. Girls. Girls. Magazine) and written by Camille Rainville
Short Film
22 July 2020

Short film, ‘Be a Lady They Said’, is a powerful portrayal of the pressures women face in society today. Featuring shots of women in what could be labelled as ‘provocative’ and ‘sexy’ in conjunction with contradictory pressures that women face all seamlessly worked together to leave a large impression on me. The conflicting statements and words were originally written by Camille Rainville and then adapted by ‘Girls! Girls! Girls! ‘ Magazine into a short film that was narrated by women’s right activist, Cynthia Nixon. Aimed to bring attention to the societal prejudice women endure, the film used scandalous and attention-grabbing shots incoherence with the powerful words, however, although majoritively positive my response is conflicted.

Words from the film personally struck a chord for me. Women in society are constantly criticsed for everything from the way they dress, what they eat, how their body or face looks, and even simply aging. What the film made me more consciously aware of is just how harsh the critiscm is that women face for everything. Women are told by men, and each other, in the film, “Don’t be too fat, don’t be too thin. Eat up, slim down, stop eating so much.” constantly no matter the size or shape of them. Pressures that women endure are highlighted by these conflicting messages in the film , all of which root from prejudice. Consciously and/or unconsciously society, both men and women, criticise women and their body because of pre-conceived ideas of what they ‘should’ look like. When underweight, you are ‘skinny ,scrawny and boney’ so you grow uncomfortable in your own skin and try to gain weight, then failing against a fast -genetically gifted- metabolism and you are labelled ‘aneroxic’ and told to ‘eat a burger’. The next person, this time slightly overweight, are called, but more hurtfully made to feel ‘lazy, fat, gross and worthless’ for simply being a comfortable weight. The prejudice that is shown in this film reflects society’s beliefs that follow how people, particularly women look and what that ‘must’ mean about them. Assosiating negative things with every possible female body shape/type creates unattainable body images for women. No matter what they look like society has a different image of what they ‘should’ look like- prejudice. I thought the use of opposing arguments “Don’t be too fat, don’t be too thin. Eat up, slim down, stop eating so much.” was very relative back to my own experience as a young adult. As a teenage girl I am surrounded by other girls all the time in various situations such as lunchtimes, where we will all sit in groups and ‘eat’. Quotation on eat because some of us will happily sit there and eat in front of eachother, while some aren’t even comfortable enough to have a snack. Backhanded comments like “Is that all your having today?” or “Your lunch is huge” all develop the underlying theme that they will never be happy with how you choose to fuel and present your body as long as society continues holding prejudice towards females.

Mens unrealistic prejudices and women’s internalised misogyny work together in society to unfairly conduct a woman’s actions and life. Women are told by everyone, “Don’t sleep around, men don’t like sluts. Don’t be a prude, don’t be so uptight and smile more.”. Prejudices that men ‘don’t like sluts’ make women feel ashamed to be confident- what determines a slut? A woman who is able to say yes consensually and partake in sex in what is a equivalent to the average male? Yes. Society has deemed these ‘sluts’ dirty and shameful simply because they are on an equal pedistool to men. Rooting back to historic times when women were just the caretakers and a prop to a man’s arm, it was forbidden that women have equal rights and this mindset is embedded in society still although not as ‘loudly’. Condemning women for having sex and for not having sex, the right for choice is taken completely away from a female in our society today. Whatever way they choose to live they will continuously be criticised because of subconscious prejudices that they are ‘less’ than men. The film goes on to contradict its statements again, “Pleasure men, be experienced. be sexual. be innocent,”. Ironically men are never happy with women no matter their sexual experience, they will always look for the worst in an attempt to undermine them- a self embedded desire built through prejudices that they are less important. This is something that I have experienced first hand because I am a teenage girl living amongst other impressionable young people. Personally I have felt these types of pressures and I know the people around me have to, by men but also other women. Boys slut-shame a girl for having sex but will make fun of a virgin which is exactly what is portrayed through this film. On the other hand, the pressure put on girls by other girls is internalized misogyny, the involuntary belief of the prejudices that men and society have put on women. Which is sad, but I think is these girls ways of coping and attempting to gain ‘praise’ and ‘acceptance’ from men, even though ironically they are the ones who created such pressures.

The viewing of this made me see clearer and in a rawer form the reality girls live with. To me, this seems that it is not a ‘controversial’ topic, however reading the comments below, made me see the depth of this film further. Men, ‘surprisingly’, were commenting “Guys have to deal with this too,” and “Dressed like sluts, yeah no wonder they’re objectified.” .What this did was make me rethink my view on the film, yes they were dressed ‘provocatively’ and it was all models, with stunning makeup, face features and bodies but that is exactly the point. Outrageously stylised and sexual, the content portrays and delivers a visual image of what the words really represent and to me that is the impossibly unobtainable beauty and behaviour standard that is brought upon women. Comments of “There should be a ‘be a man’ video” and such, I think ironically compliment exactly what the video is about. Because although men’s struggles is an important topic, the video is about women empowerment and struggle, and the diminishing of this in attempt to override the issue at hand is like a white person telling a black person that all lives matter.

‘Be a lady they said’, is such a perfect title for the film. Capturing the pressures that women face and the unreachable ideal a woman is supposed to be. Ironically, society tells women to be this, that, everything and anything and as a whole “Be a lady”. But how can one person be a thousand different things that completely contradict one another? How can someone be a size zero but be ‘thick’? How can someone be natural but ugly without makeup? How can someone live without aging? All of the expectations women are held to, hold each other at the neck with a knife, daring the other go first. Media, people, parents, etc, all engrain these images into society and form thousands of prejudices of what women ‘should’ do or look like in the attempt to reach the false reality that it will ‘please’ men.

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