idea: the unrealistic expectation that we as young teenagers are expected to know what to do for the rest of their lives

lesson: we don’t have to know and cant let opinionated old fashioned men influence us to feel stressed and dumb for not.

So the beginning of year 10, just last year, just 14 years old and I’m sat in class in one of the first few weeks of the first term. My teacher at the time has a deep talk to the whole class involving our future. He talks of subjects, NCEA,  university, careers pretty much just what we as teenagers get pretty used to hearing. I’m sitting there taking it in but a little vaguely and of course he calls me out and says “So Zoe, what subjects are you taking in year 11, 12 and 13?”. I looked at him confused and replied as honestly as I could and said “well I don’t really know.” this was not the right answer apparently. In response he goes On a tangent he tells me and the rest of the class that by now we should’ve worked out what courses we want to take in university, so we could work what subjects we needed to do in year 13, then year 12, then year 11 and so on. Here I am thinking; how at the ripe age of 14 years old with a barely developed brain am I supposed to know what I want to do for the rest of my life. I freak out a little bit and go on to assume I’m the only one who doesn’t know, as it seems everyone in the class has got an answer- lawyer, doctor, physio, etc. I rush home to my parents and tell them that we need to figure my whole life plan out as soon as possible or you know I’ll end up on the streets because that’s ‘obviously’ the only other outcome.  They sit me down and laugh, I couldn’t believe they were laughing at me whilst I was having a major life crisis.

Before this, I hadn’t really known too much about my parent’s history and how they got to where they are now but this proved to be this right time to gain some knowledge. My dad, a good man he is old johnny, when he was younger he was a bit of surf bum, not the biggest fan of school but he did finish… just, he wasn’t sure what to do with himself then. Soon though, he started working and got a plumbers apprenticeship and he worked well. It wasn’t long before he was bored and in search of a new adventure. Somehow, he ended up working in casinos as a card dealer travelling the world, experiencing new cultures, people, trades, and ways of life. However time moved on and he returned home, he reached the age of 34 and a hit a bit of a rough bump in the road. He knew he didn’t want to be a minimum wage card dealer at casinos relying on tips for the rest of his life. Taking opportunities by the hand whenever he could he eventually used his plumbing skills and became involved in fish farms and piping, which led to the founding of his own business of selling plastic water tanks. 34 years of age and he had found what he wanted to do- run a business, not at 18, not at 16 and sure as anything not at 14.

Now, my mum, she is what you would call a very academic woman. However, in school, her passion was art. Through college, she was an art student with not much else on her agenda except sculpting, drawing and painting. She at the time was pursuing what she wanted to do, not necessarily what she would do forever but in that very moment, she was happy living that road. She finished college and knew she needed to start earning her own way, she started work as an assistant of a big accounting firm, getting coffee, tea, doing the filing and so. She worked diligently and found a talent in this, she thought to herself maybe this is what I could do. So she took up a part-time university course in accounting whilst she worked at the firm. 10 years later she was the co-owner of one of the biggest accounting firms in our city. 

Truth is both my parents had no idea where their lives and careers would take them, they didn’t know in year 10 what they wanted to and yet they are happy and content with their lives. My parent’s taught me that life is about grabbing opportunities and finding the best things in the places you would least expect. Fact is you don’t have to know what you want to do, you do not have to go to university and you categorically do not have to know every subject you will take for the rest of your school career at the start of year 10. Even if you reach the point where you do want to go to university and let’s say that you didn’t take a certain subject in school, so many tertiary courses do not require pre-requisites anyway. Because of this flustering moment at the young age of 14, it has let me realise that it is ok, it is ok to not be sure, it’s ok to not know where you’ll go or what you’ll be. Each and every one of us is different and will lead a unique path, for this we can simply not put the idea or illusion that we are wrong or incompetent for just not knowing yet.